Hello, It has been a little while since I have wrote anything, but today I was something on my mind, so here we go...


Memories, Good or bad, are a part of life. They help make you who you are, whether you use them to reflect or to teach or to stop a bad situation, They are there for a good or bad reason. 


The reason I bring this up must be, because I have way too much time on my hands to remember things. In the past few days I have had good memories and bad, but they all have made me who I am. I have NO regrets in any choices that I have made, and these memories have helped me in the past, and now to remember that I have made my choices, and have made the best choices for me, to help me be the best I can be.


Like I have said before, Regrets are the MOTHER of all FUCK UPS, But we all have them, and we all have the choice to except them, or dwell on them. 


In the past few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking and remembering, (I know, bad combo), but I don't regret it, I have been having fun with it...


Funny how it all starts, could be from a song, a piece of clothing, a bite of some really good food, or something some one has said, but it has all been good, even the bad stuff.


Looking at my Nephew, and remembering when my niece was born, or the little girl that was out walking with her mother and Grandmother the other day, and how much she looked like Liz at that age. How much of her life I missed, but also how much I was there for. Her first word, crawling the first time, her first step, or even her standing at the fence, yelling at everyone who walked by the house "Come play with me!!!"


My mom doing every thing she could, to provide for my brother, sister and myself. My brother and all of his friends coming over and listening to music and hanging out. My sister and her friend standing up for me. Myself just being a little shit, just like all the youngest children are. Boy I could be a little shit, there you go GUY and Carol (Pix), Yes I said it... 


Starting school... How a book you read back in the library, brings back GREAT memories of a REALLY great friend, who would sit there and read right beside you. A good friend who would in art class, would draw  a picture that you really liked. A kid who was in every class that you had from day one to the end of fourth grade. How your friendships, changed from then to now. 


A movie, that happened to be playing at the DRIVE IN you use to work at. Going by a building, where you and your cousin were in a accident, the night the Detroit Tigers won the World Series in 1984, and how you use to sneek into bars and get served. The first time you got high (Not like I ever did) LOL. 


Moving from the only home, you had ever known. How you would miss your friends. How it felt the first time you went back to the old neighborhood to visit, and seeing someone else going into your old house.


Going to work at a new job, and meeting a friend from Junior high, and to find out that she was still good friends with the GREAT friend that use to read along side you in the library. Then one day, that friend comes in to see you at work, and she is has a very special bundle of joy in her arms.


Coming out of the closet, and having love and support from your family, and most of your friends. Realizing that very little has changed, except that you can now be free to be who you are, no more hidding in the shadows and making up lies. 


Meeting some of the most amazing people you have ever had the pleasure to know. Your first real relationship.


I guess I could keep going, and I am sorry if I have bored you with my memory ramblings. 


I have had an amazing time in my soon to be 45 years, I have experienced some of the most amazing people, place and things, and would not change any of it...


I have been reflecting and doing some remembering, some by choice, some by just seeing something or a song, or something that some one said. Could have been anything like when Whitney Houston passed away, and remembering my friend Shaun, to reading my friend Rhonda's Facebook posts, to cleaning out closets, to finding an Inkstop receipt, and hearing Missing person and Depeche Mode and remembering sitting in my friend Jim's Truck listening to them, and remembering my first date with Dave... I have had an amazing 45 years, and am so looking forward to what memories that I can have in the next 45, but do me one favor, if I make it to 65... PLEASE SHOOT ME... I REFUSE TO BE A CRANKY OLD MAN, Oh wait, I already am... Until next time, when you get a look at whats going on in my sick and twisted mind, and as always Love Hugs and kisses,
Marc 

Okay, Now I have to rant a bit about Gay rights and Gay Marriage!!!!

Two guys kissing at a Santorum rally, gets a boo from the crowd. Tow guys kiss on TV, the sponsors and censors tell them they can not do it. Yet when done in a comedic way, it passes. Why is it okay to do it for comedy, but not okay to do it for a dramatic scene, or out in public, when your with the one you love and your happy at the event. It is okay for a straight couple, or and I am sorry to say this but for two women it seems to be okay, but why not two men...

With all of the famous people who have come out over the years, Why is that we as a public still have a 1950's look on a Gay/ Lesbian/ Bi/ Transgender/ or questioning person.

Growing up not even 10 years old, and being called a FAG, I did not understand what that word was, so looked it up, and if you were English, and lived in England, it was a cigarette, or it was slang for Homosexual. Okay, well no one talk about shit like that back then, you would hear whispers about it, but No one ever said it out loud. Like when a family member had "Cancer" said under the breath of your Mom, or Grandmother. So I was confused, was that who I was, just because of what some kids said.

Fast Forward to the 80's, Boy George, Elton John, on down the list started to come out, and Yes by now I was starting to understand that I am gay, but yet was still feeling like there was no one else in the world like me, I must be the only one, so there must be something wrong with me, and the Fag word was being yelled at me a lot more all of the time. Was it because I like different music than every one else, what was I doing to cause this, and I better not say anything, because you'll get your ass beat because of it.

In 1987, I finally had the courage to come out, and everything was good, My sister said she always knew, and Mom said she still loved me. So score one, for being who I am, but the rest of the world would not except it.

In the 1990's, some say being gay became fashionable, Why because of shows like Will and Grace, Movies Like the Birdcage, and In and Out... All comedies about being a gay male... Boys Don't Cry, was about a Transgender Male to female, True to life story, The person ended up dead because of being who they were. Along comes at the same time Mathew Sheppard, Killed for being gay. Teen suicide is going on and most of them are gay teens. Ellen has the biggest ratings for her comedy ever, on April 7, 1997, all because she came out, Rosie comes out

2000's endless numbers of stars are coming out females keep getting jobs, and two females kissing is now not a big thing, George Michael gets caught in the mens room, Okay ha ha funny... Still very little rights to the Gay/ lesbian/ transgender/ Bi/ or Questioning community. We do start to see some states legalizing Gay rights and Gay marriage, but still a big cry for It's not Normal, It's against Gods law. Let me tell you, If it was a choice,NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, would choose to be Gay/ Lesbian/ Bi/ Transgender/ Or questioning.

Why would you, So you can be treated like a second class citizen. No it is in our being, we are born with it, Just like the color of your skin, you are born with it, just like your sex, you are born either male or female. So why, now in the year 2012, are we still fighting over Gays right to marriage. I should be able to marry who I choose to marry. I should be able to marry the man I am in love with, and so should so many other gay people. I have the right to vote. I have to pay taxes, just like every one else. I am no different, except I am gay.

You have people out there that will poor millions and millions of dollars into a Presidential election, for the one who opposes Gay marriage. This is one of the hot buttons, once again in our elections. Yes it is a big one, because we would like to have the same right as every one else, but with everything else thats going on, Why is it the one that the republicans are all going ape shit over. Sorry Rick and Mitt, and Newt if you were on "our team" we would send you back to the other side. Rick, who can not keep facts straight. Mitt, who can not stop flip flopping like a fish out of water, and Newt, who fucks any woman except for his wife. Are the likes of who are going to decide if Gay marriage will become law.... There we have it. The gross, the bad and the one who can not keep his Dick in his pants, and I know we can get into Clinton, and so many more, but we are talking the here and now. People are also looking to President Obama, to see where he stands on this, and he is wisely keeping his mouth shut. When He is ready he will say where he stands on this issue.

I have been with my partner for over 7 years now, and I have friends that have been together for over 20, but yet we/ they are not allowed to marry. Where is the fairness in that? 

I never would have thought in my life that one state, let alone 6 states now have legalized gay marriage, and I am looking forward to a day, when it might happen in the country as a whole. We should be able to marry just like every one else, as some would say, We have a right to be just as unhappy in our relationships as a straight couple does... Believe me when I say, If My partner was willing, we would run off to New York As We speak and get married, but for now, we know we love each other, and no piece of paper can make us feel any different than we do...

Until next time, See you in my sick, twisted and fucked up little mind. Love, hugs and Kisses...

Marc

Hello, This is my first entry, so I am going to tell you a little about myself first, Then I will start posting about other things, Like Entertainment, Pop culture, Politics, and News of the world, or just what pisses me right the fuck off at that moment, So sit back and enjoy, hopefully you will come back to see whats on my sick twisted mind...


Lets start by me saying that I am a soon to be 45 year old gay man, and I am proud of this fact. My family still loves me for who I am, and has never tried to change the fact. I have a partner and we have been together for over 7 years now, and I love him more and more each day. We live in Chesterfield, Michigan with our Dog (Cody) and our Cat (Kyra). We have lived in our Manufactured Home (Yes, A Trailer) for almost two years, and Love it. No we are not typical Trailer Trash. 


I learned back as a kid life is not always what it seems to be. When your a kid, you just wanna be a kid, unfortunately some kids have to grow up before their time. My Father or as I call him (The Sperm donor) left when I was 5, so that left my mom to raise three kids on her own, she had to go to work, and did the best she could. When Mom went to work, my sister became my basic caregiver, and my brother became the boss, But the three of us got by as best as we could, Mom was around, but less than most mom's at that time. We did have a good childhood, we had a Mom that loved us and provided what she could afford. So sometimes going to school without a lunch or without breakfast was something that happened. We did not always get the NEW SCHOOL clothes like everyone else did, or the most up to date school supplies, but what we had, we were thankful for.


I really had to face reality at the age of 14, when we were evicted from our home on my birthday. As I remember it was over a party that my brother had, that got out of hand, Looking back, I blamed everyone for this, and thought it was the end of the world. I would be leaving my friends and the home that I had grown up in, But as I look back it was the best thing to have happen, I really don't think I would have had a chance to be who I am today, without this happening in my life, Just like when The sperm donor left, I thought it was the end of the world, and blamed myself, but it was a blessing, I know to this day that if these thing had stayed the same, Our family would not have survived!!! My brother, sister and I would have been completely different people, and no I would have still been gay.


I have never held anything back from anyone, I often will say whats on my mind, without fear of repercussions. I am who I am, and no further explanation is needed. I am a happy well adjusted person, who happens to be very passionate about his life and his beliefs. I often will say, You can mess with me as much as you want, but you mess with anyone in my family or my friends, then your asking for trouble. I also am the first to make a joke about myself before anyone has a chance, that way I take the power away from anyone who wants to bully me, This way I am in control, of the situation. Take the power away from a bully, and they just become another person.


 I have had lots of GREAT experiences in my life, I have had a fair amount of jobs also, and learned something from each and every one of them. I have worked in Bar's, Adult Bookstores, Pet stores and many other places. I have no regrets on having so many jobs. I am a jack of all trades, master of none... With having so many jobs, I have had the pleasure of meeting some of the GREATEST people in my life, some who I don't even talk to anymore or can't even remember their names, to the one that I don't only call friends, but my Family. I have taken knowledge from each job and situation and use it everyday in my life. Life experiences some of my best teachers...


I have some of the best friends that anyone could have ever asked for, some of them from Grade school, all the way up to new friends that I have met where I live and use to work. One of the best things about each and everyone of them, is who they are, they are all unique in every way possible, just like me. What a crazy, mixed up, but also amazing picture and Family we all make. Thank you to each and everyone of you, for being a part of my life, you are all so special to me...


As I said in the beginning, This Blog will be about many different things, But most importantly, it will be coming out of my crazy mixed up but all so beautiful mind of mine, So sit back and relax, and enjoy the ride, because tomorrow you will be entering into another world completely different and  unique, which is me...


Thanks and Love Hugs and kisses,
Marc